Your name is the first name on my lips
Little post it notes left by in a foreign country
I open drawers and there they are
Tiny messages that speak volumes
I open books and your handwritting brings memories i try to supress
I try to smile but through it all i felt alone
You were the one holding my hand in the dark

I thought of you as my shelter
I thought of you as my soulmate
I thought of you aa my confidant
I thought if you as my best friend

The dust seeps through my hair on a cold windy night in eygpt, my boyfriend keeps calling me senslessly. I put my hands in my pockets to keep warm in the crowded streets and hold on to your note crumpled up between my fingers.

I loved you as a friend
I loved you as my soulmate
I loved you for you
For everything that you are

I shattered you
I admit
I broke you 
I confess

You hated me
I know
You loathed me
I sensed it
You shut me out
I noticed

Secretly both me and you knew
Secretly we moved on
Secretly in pain
Secretly in love

15 years ago i loved you not knowing
15 years ago i wanted you not revealing
15 years ago i dreamt of today
15 years ago and you are still here to stay.

Your name is the first name on my lips.
Mourciti

This place is my safe zone
This space is obscure
This place is here
This space is there

I thought i had a gift
I thought i can create
I thought i was above it
I thought i can relate 

It turned out to b a dream, just like a twist of fate. My hands, my mind and my heart just bled at the false imagery i laid. 

Doubting
Sneering
Stepping away.

Just for now
I want this blank space.